Frustrations of tired introvert: Pandemic edition

Frustrations. I think we all have those. From waiting in line to living with that relative who has no sense of privacy. Big or small I think all of it can be, allow me, frustrating. I think we can all agree that nobody likes to be frustrated. I know I don’t.

Let me begin by saying that this corona season has been one of my biggest frustrations so far. Don’t get me wrong, this has nothing to do with the alcohol ban or curfew because I’m not really one to party. Well of course I’ve been to parties. 5-year-old birthday parties I mean. I’m kidding though. I have been to parties, not as many but at least I have. Both Peter Pan and R rated parties. I have stayed out late too. Never mind why because I realize that I might be incriminating myself with this information. And mostly because I hope my parents don’t read this. If they do, I may need to look for new ones or a casket. Yeah you guessed right. I’m as African as they come.

I’m an introvert. That’s probably something y’all have heard over and over again. Yes, it’s becoming a cliché but just bear with us. We have a hard time bearing with you too. I say I’m an introvert because I enjoy my own company. Thoroughly, I do. I mean sure I get a random wave of loneliness occasionally but generally I love being alone. I think being an introvert goes hand in hand with anxiety. You get anxious about literally anything. How you look, what to wear, what to carry, being on time, being late, being too early, and just, being.

Which now brings me to the frustrations. As an introvert, I like my space. I like to be left alone. I could say that I’m constantly on the ‘Do not disturb’ wave. Unfortunately, with this pandemic everything has stopped and all of us are stuck indoors and that’s really cramping my style. Let me speak for myself when I say that, because looking at y’all’s social media pages has me thinking that corona only exists in this house. Everyone else is out partying and going on vacations and then there’s my relatives and I, still hiding from the plague. Anyway, to each their own.

You know there’s a difference between having folks and having parents. If you have folks, then you probably don’t get this. Those of us with parents know that privacy is just a word. Now that we’re all indoors, it feels a bit crowded. I feel like everyone is invading my space somehow, even if they don’t mean to. I swear, it’s killing me. Like everyone else, I want the pandemic to end. Only, I just want everyone going back to the outside leaving me where I belong, the inside. Although I must admit that I have missed a little of the outside too.

The point is that even for me, the indoors have become a bit too much. Mostly because now I have to share it with everyone else. This has nothing to do with being selfish, a girl just needs her space. Like everyone else, I decided to work out, read a little, you know, get my life in order. This pandemic has been so long that I got into shape and lost it again. So yes, I failed miserably like most of you. I’ve discovered life changing things about myself and even about other people, that I never would have without Corona. Some good things, most of them heart breaking.

Yet here I am writing this and you reading it. Silver lining right there. We’re not dead, at least not yet. And that gives me hope. We’re going through so many things, mostly those that no one understands. Well at least I am. It’s really frustrating to be in a situation that you have no control over. No one has the answers, we’re all helpless. Amidst all our frustrations we need to find the silver lining. Things that we’re grateful for so far, things that we look forward to, goals that we need to achieve, the list is endless. Such things give us the strength to hold on even while we fall apart. So, while the pandemic is still ongoing, stay safe and try not to lose your sanity because you still need to read more of these!